Where do I start?

Once we’ve decided to tell someone about being HIV positive, we’ve then thought carefully about how to do it: 

• What are we going to say?
• When’s the right time?
• What’s the right place?
• What are their reactions going to be? 
  
  

It’s not something to rush. The person you’re telling may have lots of questions. They might not know much about HIV. You may also find yourself having to offer comfort and support.

It does get easier the more you do it. We’ve found ways of telling other people that we’re comfortable with. We’ve learned how to deal with any negative reactions and ways of handling things if the other person gets really upset.

Practical advice

Before telling someone, it’s useful to think through all of the questions they might ask you. That way you won’t be caught off guard and can think of some answers. For instance, they may ask how you got it. Or they could ask if you’re going to die soon or what is going to happen.

Support groups are a safe place to talk to other people going through the same thing. There are also support groups for HIV negative partners.      

Alternatively, you can talk about it with a health adviser or support worker. You could also ask them if they can help you to practice telling someone.

You might find it helpful to have leaflets on HIV with you that you can give to the other person when you tell them.